'Men must own the problem of violence against women'

In March, I asked the men of our University community to start conversations about male attitudes and actions at the heart of a systemic culture of violence towards women. I asked you to take responsibility for accepting that the problem exists and for playing an active role in solving it.

At that time, there was media and public outcry about how the onus is placed on women to protect themselves, and how this must change. And yet, little more than six months later, we face high-profile cases of drink-spiking directed at women simply trying to have a good night out. And we are still placing the onus on women to keep themselves safe. Don’t drink too much, don’t leave your drink unattended, don’t accept a drink from someone you don’t know. 

If I wasn’t clear in March, let me be clear now. The real message is to men: don’t be violent towards women, don’t harass them, don’t assume you have a right to their attention or their bodies. And don’t pretend this isn’t your problem. It is a necessary evil that women must protect themselves, but that is not and never has been the solution to the wider cultural problem.

It is all too easy to say that this is the behaviour of a minority of men. That may be true. But as I said in March, the fact that most men in our community would not even consider being violent towards a woman is irrelevant. Because violence happens, and the statistics are clear that it is overwhelmingly perpetuated by men. Simply because I am not personally violent does not give me the right to react defensively when women talk about their lived experiences of violence and harassment, to silence them because what they say is hard to hear. We must ask ourselves the hard questions. Do I challenge inappropriate behaviour when I see it? Do I speak out against ‘banter’ about women? Do I make my values clear to other men, even if it would make me unpopular?

Both the University and RUSU as institutions will continue to do all we can to keep the women of our community safe. But that is not enough. I join with the President of our Students’ Union to call on all the men in our community to take responsibility. As men, we must own violence against women as our problem, not theirs. It is only when we do this that things will genuinely change.